Today is one of those days where I disconnect with the world. I stay by myself. I don't understand what's going on around me and I don't want to. I wrap myself in my fantasy world because the real world is too much right now. My friends think I'm just being silly when they call my name and I don't listen and I stare into space and wander down the road. But I'm not. I was once told by someone that if they saw me being unhappy, they would be seriously worried about me. You know, sometimes I'm not happy. And it's okay. Sometimes I cry for no reason and I'm fine. I'm always fine. I'm never not fine. I'm fine disengaging because I can't handle looking the truth in the face. My heart is broken and I don't know if it will ever fix itself. I can't get over it. And since I know that only one or two people are reading this I can say what I have needed to since you stopped talking to me. E.M: I'm sorry. I'm so so so sorry. I didn't mean it and I didn't want it to happen. And I love you. I love you more than I ever realized. And I miss you. It's like a piece of my heart is gone, because it is. And I want things to go back to the way that they used to be. But more than anything, I want you to talk to me again. Because it has been a year since you started ignoring me, and it is the hardest thing I have ever had to go through. And I know you meant it that way. But I forgive you, because it is all my fault.
That's it. It's off my chest. Time for Romance and Cigarettes.
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